Paper Roses (as sung by Al Gore)

I thought that folks would see your misdirection.
You seemed so dumb I thought I could relax.
But who'd have thought there'd be a close election,
And you would steal the votes from Jews and Blacks.

Fuzzy numbers, fuzzy numbers,
Oh how real those numbers seem to be.
But they're only imitation,
Like your imitation presidency.

[Alternate choruses (last line's different)]

Fuzzy numbers, fuzzy numbers,
Oh how real those numbers seem to be.
But they're only imitation,
Like the votes you stole from Joe & me.

Fuzzy numbers, fuzzy numbers,
Oh how real those numbers seem to be.
But they're only imitation,
Like the love you hold for liberty.


Stormy Weather

Don't know why we elected that Bush guy - Fuzzy Numbers!


Camptown Races

Texas gov'nor sings this song:
"Fuzzy Numbers"
This election's gone all wrong
Gone Dubya's way.
You can run all night, you can run all day.
But Fuzzy Numbers comin' in,
And we're gonna pay.


Freres Jacques

Fuzzy Numbers, Fuzzy Numbers
Who has more? Who has more?
I think Dubya's got 'em.
Jeb made sure he got far more than Gore.
Fuzzy FLORida!

Desperado

Fuzzy numbers,
Why don't you come to your senses,
You don't need pretenses --
The public's asleep.
Fuzzy numbers,
If you can just keep on lyin'
America's buyin' the crap that you sweep.


Crazy (as sung by GWB)

Fuzzy - Fuzzy for being ambitious.
Fuzzy - Just like Daddy taught me to be.
Scuzzy - Scuzzy's a buzzword for fuzzy.
Al was just not as fuzzy as me.

Seedy - Just like the bad seed that bore me.
Seedy - Keeping the Blacks from the polls. (Purchasing loopholes)

I'm fuzzy - fuzzy for cheating and stealing,
Fuzzy - fuzzy for beating the truth.
So fuzzy - under your skin I will itch you
Next time you go to the voting booth.

Paper - Paper and butterfly ballots -
All that my campaign needs to succeed. (Unbridled greed)

Chads are made of the same stuff that fads are
You will forget they were ever punched
Fuzzy - fuzzy from my "fam'ly values",
Fuzzy - fuzzy is my mantra now.

Seedy - Just like the bad seed that bore me.
Seedy - Keeping the Blacks from the polls. (Anything goes!)

I'm Fuzzy - so fuzzy no law encumbers!
I'm fuzzy on numbers,
But as America slumbers,
I'll stay fuzzy over you.


Rockin' Robin

[Bass starts: Fuzz, fuzz, fuzz fuzzy numbers. Fuzz, fuzz, fuzz fuzzy numbers...]

Fuzzy numbers all day long,
Through the debates he was singing this song.
Then came the election and whadda ya know?!
Who had fuzzy numbers? Not Al and Joe!
Fuzzy numbers! (Ba ba ba)
Fuzzy numbers! (Wee! Tweedle dee dee!)
George got fuzzy numbers,
And he's gonna steal the White House tonight!


Baby Face

Fuzzy math!
You got the strangest kind of fuzzy math.
You say you want to give the rights to the states,
Except for the Supreme Court, then the feds you embrace!

Fuzzy math!
You've got the fuzziest math I've ever seen!
You're on a shaky path,
Our rights will take a bath,
With your bushy fuzzy math!


The Christmas Song

Ballots roasting on an open fire,
George Bush rubbing on your nose,
Court decisions more important than votes,
And states’ power counts when the wind blows.

Everybody knows a turkey and a coup d’etat
Help to swing things to the right.
Tiny tots who are too young to know
Will find it hard to vote next time.

They know Supreme Courts have their way
You can forget about your vote – you have no say.
And every mother’s child will learn to vie
In a country of hypocrisy and lies.

And so we’re offering this simple phrase
To those whose ballots went askew.
Although it’s been said many times, many ways,
You don’t count folks.
And George: Screw you!

[middle section melody again]

It’s back to coat-hangers for girls,
The environment can go to hell and hurl.
Watch the big industries do just as they please,
And George’s kids will get abortions overseas.

And that leaves you and me to count the score
Although the numbers don’t add well.
And though we’ve been told, in rhetorical “gold” [Alt.: “mold”]
Fuzzy numbers, Fuzzy numbers,
They’re as cracked as the Liberty Bell!


Three Blind Mice

Fuzzy Math, Fuzzy Math,
See how it adds, see how it adds.
You keep the voters away from the polls
Don't count the ones that for you don't hold,
Then tell the Constitution to fold,
That's fuzzy math!